Dec 17 2007
The Abolition of Christmas
Consider this:
We all knew it would come to this eventually, didn’t we?
According to a report by Reuters international news agency, department store Santas in Sydney, Australia, are being discouraged from saying “Ho-ho-ho” to children because, well, let’s just say it sets the wrong example for impressionable kids.
Any American kid who listens to rap music will recognize the word “Ho” immediately. It sprinkles from rappers’ mouths like snowflakes on Christmas morning.
Unfortunately, the meaning of the word “Ho” is decidedly un-Christmaslike. It’s become a slang term for a woman employed in the oldest profession of all.
At long last, Australian Santas are being asked to get their mind out of the down-under and stop assaulting children’s ears with irresponsible Ho-ho-ho-ing. They’ve been told to say “Ha-ha-ha,” instead.
This comes after a report from Great Britain, where Santas have been asked to slim down, since the jolly old elf’s morbid obesity sends another bad message to children. Never mind that a steady diet of reindeer meat is high in saturated fats. The jolly fat man will have to find a polar price club that specializes in veggies and yogurt, if he wants to spend time with kids.
And consider this account
Recently I went to do some Christmas shopping in the local stores. I don’t believe that I have ever been so insulted in all my life.
Only two stores had any mention of Christmas. All others were advertising the holiday season which is totally secondary to anyone who believes in the birth of Christ.
How about this one?
Here in Seattle, the phrase “Merry Christmas” has been largely expunged from public discourse. Haltingly and awkwardly, we wish each other happy holiday; we talk vaguely about a holiday season; we plan parties that by all appearances look like Christmas parties, but we never call them such. This despite every indication that Christmas, at least the consumerist trappings of it, is alive and well. Every Starbucks sign hawks a peppermint latte; the sound of Barbra Streisand belting out “Jingle Bells” can be heard all over town; whole city blocks are lit up like, well, like Christmas trees.
…
So it came as no small surprise when the very people who are supposed to be stormtroopers in the so-called war against Christmas — college professors — leapt to the defense of a North Seattle Community College staff member who was chided for referring to “Christmas cookies” in a recent e-mail message.
…
What finally tore our attention away from the crush and grind of late-quarter workload was the original sender’s apology message, sent to all staff and carrying the subject line, “Holiday Cookie Order Apology.” In the tone of someone clearly being asked to apologize for behavior for which there is no need to apologize, the sender lets us know that, in sending out her cookie order form, she had not been “trying to highlight, segregate, discriminate, or diminish any specific religion.”
Reading the news sometimes feels like walking through the Twilight Zone, minus Rod Serling’s sharp-voiced intro.